IRAQI RAMBO.

Today I watched the movie trailer for the new Rambo movie, John Rambo. And can I say, holy shit. As if we need more of this shit. I like a good war machine movie as much as the next guy; give me a gritty ApocolypseNow-Platoon-Full-Metal-Jacket-Band-of-Brothers, guns-blazing, hero-making action adventure. But watching this and thinking of the other Rambo films made me think, holy shit. Holy shit, isn't it amazing how we can cheer for an American who goes in and slaughters some foreign soldiers we know nothing about.

Imagine if other nations could rival the talent and resources we have in Hollywood. What kind of movie would they make in the Middle East? I can tell you the plot:

Iraqi Rambo lives with his family in a war-torn area; we watch as he struggles to make a living. Americans bomb his village repeatedly, claiming to be hunting terrorists. When Iraqi Rambo's daughter is killed in a fire-fight, his teenage son tries to raise awareness. He takes his story to American journalists, provoking the ire of the military. But before the story breaks, he's abducted by US troops and taken to a secret island base where terrorists are held without trial.

Now Iraqi Rambo is angry. There had been all sorts of tails about abductions, but Iraqi Rambo had kept his nose out of it. No need to stir up trouble. His daughter was killed. He forgave. But now they have taken his son? No sir.

Iraqi Rambo flies to Cuba, the home of this alleged base. After scouting out the area, he recruits a few locals to help him rescue his son. Against all odds, he wages war on his son's captors. He heroically slaughters dozens of American boys men in gruesome fashion (reference John Rambo preview). And in the end rescues his son and some other local boys, leads them out of Cuba and back home, where they're happily reunited with their families.

Ah yes, Iraqi Rambo, I'm sure he would be a big hit here. Consider this my copyright notice. Warner Brothers? Paramount? Anyone?