THE HELMET DEBATE.

Should you wear a bike helmet?

In today's uber-safety conscious world, this question continues to find it's way into beer-soaked conversations. When we were growing up we never wore helmets. Now parents make kids wear helmets when they ride bikes, skateboard, rollerblade and eat lunch. My opinion has always been that kids don't need helmets and parents are being over-protective.

This point of view has also led me to believe that adults don't need helmets either, since we're smarter than kids. Logic says yes, you should wear a helmet, since in an accident it could save your life. Pride says no, you look like a huge nerd and only idiots crash their bikes.

Almost immediately following a discussion I recently had with a friend, our mutual friend crashed his bike:

me: how'd you crash?

Ev: what crash?

me: bike crash.

Ev: what?

me: was that a lie? shannon is a dick.

Ev: ha.

me: skulled.

Ev: no its not a lie....
i crashed.
i got all scraped up.
it sucked.
i was on the bike path by the beach...
going to fast around a bend, and hit a patch of sand.
the wheels slipped out from under me, and i went sliding for about 10 feet on my skin.
and bounced my head off the ground.
i didn't like it.

me: yikes.
we just got done arguing about helmets

Ev: I have been a big proponent of helmets are stupid....
but wear one cause everyone says i should.
i guess now i agree with them.

me: looks like everyone is right.
damnit.
but that's probably the only time you'll crash like that. you can stop wearing one, based on the odds.

Ev: but i am an adult and was going between 15 and 20 miles an hour.
little kids go slow, and are close to the ground...
i wrecked a bunch when i was a kid....
i didn't need a helmet then...

me: I never wore a helmet in my life.
that's not entirely true
football, hockey, broomball, white water rafting

Ev: i know...i agree....but......i'm glad i had one on last week....

me: i was thinking though, about lifejackets, another of the "I'm an adult so I don't need this" item

Ev: i need that...

me: if you wrecked your boat and got knocked out, you'd drown for sure.

Ev: i'm a terrible swimmer.

me: you are a rock.

Ev: you won't get knocked out if you wear a helmet.
wear a helmet instead of a life jacket.
i gotta go.
i'm gonna be late.
see ya.

Luckily, I don't own a bike or have a kid, so I don't have to worry about this. If I did own a bike, I would wear a helmet while riding it in the city. Too many cars and pedestrians to crash into. My helmet would have flames on it, since I would ride at blazing speeds. And when I have kids, I'll let them decide if they want to wear a helmet or not. Maybe in the future helmets are cool.

DIRTY BASEMENT PORNO STORE

Every day on my way to work, as I exit at the subway system, I walk by a porno store whose entryway is in the subway station stairwell. And miraculously, one-third of the time I see professional-looking grown men exiting said store during regular business commuting hours.

This made me wonder:

Are you really buying porno at 9am on your way to work?

That's a pretty bold move, to do your porno shopping at the subway stop many of your co-workers probably use to commute. Running into a co-worker following your skin-flick purchase probably gives rise to an awkward situation.

"Hey Bill, did you just come out of that dirty porno store?"

"Um, no."

"Yes you did, you have a bag of pornos in your hand."

"These? They're not for me. They're for my friend who likes porno."

"Whatever, pervert."

And if they don't work in the neighborhood, my question is this:

How far do you have to travel from where you live and work to comfortably visit a porn shop?

One block? One mile? It sort of makes me sad. I like porn as much as the next guy. But these are 45 and 50 year old men. Maybe they don't know about the internet yet, but it's got to be pretty degrading to be getting that old and still buying porno from some dirty basement store.

Who knows, maybe they sell stamps down there.