VIRGINITY FOR SALE.

So awhile ago that story came out about the girl selling her virginity to pay for grad school. And I just realized what I should do about this:

I want to purchase her virginity and then not have sex with her.

Since there would have to be some sort of binding legal contract proclaiming me the owner of said virginity, I would remain the owner until I personally had sex with her. Which means I could put that virginity in the bank and wait five years, ten years, or maybe forever. I could leave her virginity to my children in a will, which would probably not be very valuable, considering by the time I die she'll be old and rotten.

One flaw in this plan is my lack of self control. If there's beer in the fridge, I drink it. On the rare occasions that I have pot, I smoke it until it's gone. So if I owned some virginity, I would definitely use it up.

The other flaw is that I just plain don't have $250,000. Perhaps a church will buy her virginity and ensure she remains pure, which would save her soul from eternal damnation. They can pass around the collection basket, taking donations to the congregation, who would all be part owners of that girl's virginity.

I WANT TO LIKE DEXTER.

I want to like Dexter, I really do. But it sucks. Aside from the premise, which I think is interesting and could yield a great show, nothing about Dexter is really all that great. The story-line is okay and I guess it's enough to keep me coming back, but the acting is repulsive. I hate virtually all of the actors and actresses.

The sister is by far the worst. The whole "I want my shield to make daddy proud" routine has been beat beyond recognition. Is it a dead horse? Is it a dead cow? Is it a dead great dane? I just can't tell, it's so badly beaten.

And Dexter's inner monologue is painfully redundant. Oh, your dad made you this monster, oh you're soooo conflicted, ohhh, the code, oh you're in a tight spot. We get it. It's gotten to the point now that I DVR episodes so that I can fast forward through half of the show. I don't really want to hear them talk or see any of the acting, I just want a snapshot of the story.

I guess the silver lining to all of this sucking is that it only takes me about 30 minutes to watch each episode.