UNCLICKPASTABLE AWARD.

Last night I was thumbing through my Direct TV menu looking for something other than America's Funniest Home Videos to watch when I saw the title: My Shocking Story: Half Man, Half Tree. There was no possible way to not click through to TLC and see what this was all about. It had to be some sort of trick, right? Maybe a tree that has a root that looks like a foot and a branch that looks like an arm? Or a human who lives in a tree and the tree has grown around him, sort of like a cage? But no. It was an actual man who has tree roots growing from his arms and legs.



Amazing and sad. He has friends who all have very strange skin diseases and they "perform" in some sort of circus or freak show to make a living. I tuned in a bit late and I had to change the channel when my pizza arrived, so I don't know what the skin condition is, or if it's actual wood growing, or just skin and fingernails and such. I also have not determined if being half man, half tree comes with any super powers. Either way, I bet it's hard to button your shirt with tree hands.

Congratulations to TLC and the producers of My Amazing Story, winners of the first "Unclickpastable" award.

In somewhat related news, here is a list of every reason Dr. David Banner ever "Hulked out".