This morning I went to deposit some checks at my friendly neighborhood Chase bank. In the lobby I was greeted by a giant cardboard sign in front of the counter where the deposit slips are normally kept. It proclaimed "NO HASSLE DEPOSITS!" The sign went on to say that you didn't need to fill out a form or use an envelope. Simply go to the ATM, log in, and slide your money (or checks) into the machine.
Perfect. I hate forms and don't really care much for envelopes.
So to the machine I went. I logged in and selected deposit, at which point the loud beeping and flashing lights directed me to slide my checks into a strange machine mouth. The machine quickly ate my checks, then after 20 more seconds of beeping and flashing, returned to the greeting/not logged in screen. No receipt. No acknowledgement that my checks had been received.
At this point, since the machine was apparently done with me, I had to go inside and see customer service. After waiting in line for five minutes, I was informed I could call a hotline and file a claim. Great. At work, I called the hotline, filed the claim and apparently everything is going to be taken care of.
But I'm not satisfied. I think after work I'm going to stop by and demand they take down that sign. Because to me, having a machine eat your checks, forcing you to wait in line--only to talk to someone who makes you call a hotline where you'll be put on hold is not really "HASSLE FREE." Not hassle free at all.
8.19.2008
8.07.2008
REVOKING MY FAVRE FANDOM.
Months ago, when Brett Favre finally retired I came out as a fan. Despite being an avid Lions fan (thus programmed to hate Green Bay and Chicago), I couldn't help but admire the passion and grit with which Favre played.
But the recent coming out of retirement circus has been an abomination. The Packers, Favre and the media are all to blame. Mostly the media, in my opinion. In what must have been one of the slowest sporting news months in recent memory, the Favre story was on for about 1/4 of every sporting news show. SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT BRETT FAVRE! Speculation on top of speculation. Interviews with people who have nothing to do with Favre, the Packers or his situation. I mean, they asked Tiger Woods about it. You seriously don't have any better questions for arguably the most dominant athlete (within his sport) in the world? That journalist should be fired and Tiger should refuse to answer any more questions about over-the-hill athletes from other sports possibly coming out of retirement.
Favre has to take some responsibility for this. I mean, make up your mind. I understand the desire to play again once the season gets close, but think about your legacy. This has certainly tainted it. You were a legend--no, a God--in Green Bay. You played there your entire career. You could probably feed a whole nursery full of babies to a pit bull, then torture that pit bull and feed it to your infant daughter and nuns in Green Bay would STILL give you a blowjob on the street. But now you're going to play for the Jets? Ugh. Brett, Brett, Brett. You're ruined everything.
Now we just have to wait for the end of season "will Brett retire" talk to begin. It'll probably start tomorrow and last all season.
But the recent coming out of retirement circus has been an abomination. The Packers, Favre and the media are all to blame. Mostly the media, in my opinion. In what must have been one of the slowest sporting news months in recent memory, the Favre story was on for about 1/4 of every sporting news show. SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT BRETT FAVRE! Speculation on top of speculation. Interviews with people who have nothing to do with Favre, the Packers or his situation. I mean, they asked Tiger Woods about it. You seriously don't have any better questions for arguably the most dominant athlete (within his sport) in the world? That journalist should be fired and Tiger should refuse to answer any more questions about over-the-hill athletes from other sports possibly coming out of retirement.
Favre has to take some responsibility for this. I mean, make up your mind. I understand the desire to play again once the season gets close, but think about your legacy. This has certainly tainted it. You were a legend--no, a God--in Green Bay. You played there your entire career. You could probably feed a whole nursery full of babies to a pit bull, then torture that pit bull and feed it to your infant daughter and nuns in Green Bay would STILL give you a blowjob on the street. But now you're going to play for the Jets? Ugh. Brett, Brett, Brett. You're ruined everything.
Now we just have to wait for the end of season "will Brett retire" talk to begin. It'll probably start tomorrow and last all season.
FROM IRATE ADS: POLITICAL AD
From irateads.com:
jtherkal: In what will become a growing series as November nears, we're going to tackle political ads. For years, political ads have been a stain on our society, littering the airwaves with slanderous accusations, boredom and just plain terribleness. You'd think that candidates would hire professionals to pump out some ads that don't feel like your typical political BS. But to date, few have. We'll start with this gem, which has been a bit of a lightning rod as of late.
It's for John McCain, Republican candidate for president (for the super uninformed). My guess is he has hired some professionals, and those professionals talked him into this outstanding ad. The conversation probably went a little like this:
Ad Guy: So John, the difference between you and Obama is that you're old and crusty. He's young, beloved and hip. Trying to make you seem hip, or Obama seem crusty is a near impossible task. So our angle is this: play up your crustiness and make his popularity seem like a fault.
McCain: Interesting. Can't we just say "McCain is white and will take over the fucking world with guns?"
Ad Guy: No, there's been a bit of a backlash due to all this war crap.
McCain: Oh, continue.
Ad Guy: Well, we start with ominous music. Then we show people chanting "O BA MA! O BA MA!"
McCain: Wait, won't that make him seem popular?
Ad Guy: That's the point, you old bastard. Now shut it and wait for the punchline.
McCain: Sorry.
Ad Guy: So while people are chanting, we show images of celebrities that are idiots. Paris Hilton, Brittany Spears, etc. Then people will think "Obama is a celebrity, Paris is a celebrity, Obama is the same as Paris."
McCain: I like your logic.
Ad Guy: Then we say some of the political bullshit you insist on cramming in my ads, followed by that image of you looking into the light while you say you approve this message.
McCain: Doesn't that clip of me looking into the light make people think of me being old and dying?
Ad Guy: That's the point! We want people to think about how old you are. You're the anti-young. You have so much experience that you're almost dead.
McCain: Brilliant.
Ad Guy: That's why you hired me.
I guess if I have to rate this, I give it a F. The backlash on this has been nothing short of sensational. Paris has even responded with this:
sjbooher: That's it, I'm voting for Paris. That is awesome. How does Paris Hilton have a better campaign ad than McCain? And it also sounds like she already has a better handle on her running mate (Rihanna, potentially) than either of the real candidates! Ha. McCain's ad was lazy and scatterbrained at the same time. FOCUS, MAAAAAAAN. Not to mention he just saved Obama millions of dollars as the backlash is campaign advertising in and of itself. F to the McCain ad, A+ to the Paris ad.
jtherkal: In what will become a growing series as November nears, we're going to tackle political ads. For years, political ads have been a stain on our society, littering the airwaves with slanderous accusations, boredom and just plain terribleness. You'd think that candidates would hire professionals to pump out some ads that don't feel like your typical political BS. But to date, few have. We'll start with this gem, which has been a bit of a lightning rod as of late.
It's for John McCain, Republican candidate for president (for the super uninformed). My guess is he has hired some professionals, and those professionals talked him into this outstanding ad. The conversation probably went a little like this:
Ad Guy: So John, the difference between you and Obama is that you're old and crusty. He's young, beloved and hip. Trying to make you seem hip, or Obama seem crusty is a near impossible task. So our angle is this: play up your crustiness and make his popularity seem like a fault.
McCain: Interesting. Can't we just say "McCain is white and will take over the fucking world with guns?"
Ad Guy: No, there's been a bit of a backlash due to all this war crap.
McCain: Oh, continue.
Ad Guy: Well, we start with ominous music. Then we show people chanting "O BA MA! O BA MA!"
McCain: Wait, won't that make him seem popular?
Ad Guy: That's the point, you old bastard. Now shut it and wait for the punchline.
McCain: Sorry.
Ad Guy: So while people are chanting, we show images of celebrities that are idiots. Paris Hilton, Brittany Spears, etc. Then people will think "Obama is a celebrity, Paris is a celebrity, Obama is the same as Paris."
McCain: I like your logic.
Ad Guy: Then we say some of the political bullshit you insist on cramming in my ads, followed by that image of you looking into the light while you say you approve this message.
McCain: Doesn't that clip of me looking into the light make people think of me being old and dying?
Ad Guy: That's the point! We want people to think about how old you are. You're the anti-young. You have so much experience that you're almost dead.
McCain: Brilliant.
Ad Guy: That's why you hired me.
I guess if I have to rate this, I give it a F. The backlash on this has been nothing short of sensational. Paris has even responded with this:
sjbooher: That's it, I'm voting for Paris. That is awesome. How does Paris Hilton have a better campaign ad than McCain? And it also sounds like she already has a better handle on her running mate (Rihanna, potentially) than either of the real candidates! Ha. McCain's ad was lazy and scatterbrained at the same time. FOCUS, MAAAAAAAN. Not to mention he just saved Obama millions of dollars as the backlash is campaign advertising in and of itself. F to the McCain ad, A+ to the Paris ad.
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