CHASE LICKS BALLS

This morning I went to deposit some checks at my friendly neighborhood Chase bank. In the lobby I was greeted by a giant cardboard sign in front of the counter where the deposit slips are normally kept. It proclaimed "NO HASSLE DEPOSITS!" The sign went on to say that you didn't need to fill out a form or use an envelope. Simply go to the ATM, log in, and slide your money (or checks) into the machine.

Perfect. I hate forms and don't really care much for envelopes.

So to the machine I went. I logged in and selected deposit, at which point the loud beeping and flashing lights directed me to slide my checks into a strange machine mouth. The machine quickly ate my checks, then after 20 more seconds of beeping and flashing, returned to the greeting/not logged in screen. No receipt. No acknowledgement that my checks had been received.

At this point, since the machine was apparently done with me, I had to go inside and see customer service. After waiting in line for five minutes, I was informed I could call a hotline and file a claim. Great. At work, I called the hotline, filed the claim and apparently everything is going to be taken care of.

But I'm not satisfied. I think after work I'm going to stop by and demand they take down that sign. Because to me, having a machine eat your checks, forcing you to wait in line--only to talk to someone who makes you call a hotline where you'll be put on hold is not really "HASSLE FREE." Not hassle free at all.