FIRE ALARMS, WORTHLESS.

If you work in a building, you've probably had experience with the worthlessness of fire alarms. Of all the times I've had a fire alarm go off in my building, I don't think there's ever been an actual fire. And I've worked in some terrible, really flammable buildings. Buildings that probably should be burned.

Once you've been through enough false alarms, you start to dismiss them altogether. They're crying wolf. But what happens if there really is a wolf? A wolf who breathes fire and sets your building on fire? What then?

The answer is a smoke alarm. Not an alarm that senses smoke, but an alarm that pumps out smoke. In the case of a real fire, the smoke alarms would start pumping thick, black smoke onto all the floors. If you hear the fire alarm and see smoke in your building, you'd probably get the hell out. Because everyone knows, where there's smoke, there's fire. And wa-la, I just saved you from a terrible burning death.

Smoking Smoke Alarm. Patented 09.04.08.