One of my friends has the grand luck to be employed as a part-time receptionist here in New York City. Aside from answering phones and surfing the web, he is often assigned random tasks. Today one of his responsibilities was to write a letter of recommendation, from the owner of his company, for someone he's never met, to some unknown person, for some unknown reason. I submit to you--with the names changed in order to preserve anonymity--the best reference letter in the history of the world:
Dear Members of the Board,
This letter provides me the opportunity to discuss a great person, John Friendly. John has been a close personal friend of mine for years. I am the president of Billy Bossman Company in New York City. I have been in business for many years, and have worked with John for most of them.
John is a responsible and trustworthy person. We have worked together on many events such as the gloriously fabulous Name Of Event. He has contributed fantastically, as a Consultant, to all of my various and sundry tomes. I have entrusted him with the life of my firstborn son on numerous occasions and not once has said life been lost. In short, John Friendly is one of the ten best people I have ever met in my life, a handsome man, extremely well-respected by both myself and everyone that I know who also knows him in any sort of capacity. I’d take a bullet for this man, but I’m sure one of our faster mutual friends and acquaintances would be in the line of fire before me! That’s the level of love I’m talking about. Pure, unadulterated love, one human to another. This dude rocks.
I’m not actually sure what I’m recommending John for, but, believe you me, miss – you’d be a fool not to take, or to accept, or to give whatever he wants to him.
Please feel free to contact me with any questions regarding John.
Respectfully,
Billy Bossman
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