“Conflict Resolution” Seminar - Second Session

That was the title of an e-mail I received today at work. This was the content:

"Due to the high number of requests we have added a second session of Conflict Resolution.

On June 7th, [place of employment] will be presenting a seminar on Conflict Resolution presented by our EAP providers. This session will start at 2:30 pm and last for one hour in the 2nd Floor Conference Room. Snacks will be served.

Seminar Overview

In this interactive session the topics discussed include learning to manage opposition, conflict clashes, discord and disagreements which are critical skills for personal and professional success. In order to best develop these skills you will also learn your personal conflict resolution style.

Focus Points:

What is conflict
Characteristics of Conflict
Responses to Conflict
Personal Attitudes Toward
Dimensions of Conflict
Effective Ways to Handle Conflict
Problem Solving
Communication Rules

If you are interested in attending please respond to this email. Seating is limited, responses will be accepted on a first come, first serve basis."

My immediate response was to copy it and paste it into this blog. My second action was to read it through again and try to understand what it's all about. Could there really be that many people who can't resolve conflict on their own; so many that they needed to schedule a second class? Could there really be that many people who think going to a class will actually make them proficient at dealing with other people? This is shit you should have learned in the class called The Last Twenty Years Of Your Life. I'm considering taking the class just to see exactly who in my company qualifies as "a huge pussy."

There's only one logical reason I can see for sending out this e-mail:

Fire anyone who replies asking to sign up.

When they walk in to the meeting, hand them a box and a note that says pack your shit and get out. Then we'll see what their "personal conflict resolution style" is. That, my friends, is conflict resolution class.