NERD SANCTUARY.

If you ever want to find some true nerds--nerds who can help you fix your laptop or design you a web page for your new t-shirt design company--there's only one place to go. The Computer Programming section of a book store. Walking through the Barnes & Noble this weekend I stumbled into this serene setting. There were computer nerds scattered about, all consuming information about new code languages and other things involving computers.

If you need help with your computer and don't have access to an IT person at work, you can attempt to approach one of these nerds. You'll undoubtably look out of place and your presence is likely to alarm the timid nerd, so I suggest saying something in their language at first. It will help put them at ease. Feel free to use one of the following:

"I'm not sold on the benefits of working in Perl."

"I'm a JavaScript man myself."

"I've done some of my best work in C++."

Then, when they start talking to you, stare blankly into their eyes for the duration of their monologue. When they've finished talking, feel free to transition into a discussion about the type of help you need.

"I'm not really sure what you're talking about. It sounds complicated. Do you think you could fix my laptop? I have it here in my backpack."

Then take your laptop out and tell them about the error message that keeps popping up. Boom, your problem is solved.