THE ARCHIVES: MALL LIFERS, 04.21.2001

In an effort to consolidate writing archives I have spread over a few websites, I'm going to start posting entries from the past on this page. Though I'll be tempted to, I won't edit them. I'll start with some of the oldest posts first and work my way up. And if for any reason you want more, you can check out all of them at thelordoursavior.com

4/24/01

Amazingly enough, sometimes I don't have anything to say. However, I will seldom let that stop me from talking, so here's a little insight into human nature for you:

No matter who people are, or what they do for a living, they truely believe that they have the most important job. And, not only is their job the most important, but the also believe that they and others in their field are somehow elite. For instance, I worked evenings for several years in a mall. As a part time worker in an organization you are able to see the culture without ever fully committing yourself. This allowed me to observe the actions and rituals of the "Mall Lifers." Lifers seldom work in the same store for more than a few years before migrating to a new store. No matter how much they move, they seldom leave the confines of the mall community. Those who "get out" of the life mostly trasfer to the same store in another mall. Collectively (and keep in mind there are exceptions to every rule) Mall Lifers all smoke, which enables them to take smoke breaks together. It is at these smoke breaks that one can observe the elitest attitude held by Lifers.

Example:

KB TOY STORE EMPLOYEE: Dude, you should have seen this guy that came in to the store today.

WETZEL'S PRETZEL WORKER: Yeah?

KB: He was looking around, then he dropped a box on the floor and I had to pick it up.

WETZEL: What an idiot.

KB: And then he asked me if I had any Pokemon Battledome games in stock, and I was like, no dude, but we do have Pokemon Stadium.

WETZEL: (laughs and throws cigarette butt in bushes outside mall entrance)

KB: Man, the dumbest people come in the store sometime.

Then those two go back inside, where they are apparently kings. Could have been that man looking for the Pokemon game was the CEO of some company, or a famous scientist. Anyways, it is always amazing how the mall lifers convince eachother that they are the ilk of society. Whatever ilk means.

(in retrospect, I completely misused the work "ilk." And I misspelled "truly" and "transfer." How I've grown as a writer.)