BUY SUITCASE STOCK.

On a recent trip, I insisted my girlfriend only bring a carry-on bag. Difficult, I know, to fit everything you'll need for a weekend on the beach in one suitcase. A bathing suit, some flip-flops, a few t-shirts. But she did it. Imagine our surprise, then, when we were on our way to security and one of the female guards motioned for her to put her carry-on, clearly a bag of carry-on size, on this measuring plate. The plate was obviously too small for the bag. I think it was 22" x 14" x 9", which is approximately the size of no luggage ever invented. We were directed to go back and check the bag. And by directed, I mean that the security woman stood with her arms folded, staring at us, shaking her head "no," and not answering any questions. Watching from the bag-check line, we saw the security guard turn back about 10 more people, randomly letting some bags that exceeded her size limits slip by. It was infuriating.

So my insider tip today is to go buy stock in luggage companies (i.e. Samsonite). Because if they really enforce that luggage size limit, we're all going to need new carry-on bags.