10 YEAR REUNION.

Yes, this year is the ten year reunion of my high school graduation. That means I'm getting old. And since I'm planning to attend, that means I'm prepared to have the same conversation over and over again approximately 50 times. I'm attending more out of curiosity than to reconnect with friends from the past or to gloat about my achievements in life. I doubted we would even have a reunion, seeing as it's the class president's job to plan it; and I don't think ours had any interest in doing so.

But someone did plan it. Yes indeed. I tip my hat to the girl who took the initiative to do so. It's something she didn't have to do, and I appreciate it. She made a wise decision to plan it during Thanksgiving break, when many out-of-state alumni will be home. But taking the initiative and choosing a good date seem to be where her good decision-making ended.

Take a look at the following description of my impending reunion:

"Ticket can be purchased from celebrations to remember. The price is $59 before November 21st. Purchase by phone at 734.261.3264 Ticket Price Includes Hors D'Oeuvres, Alumni Directory For Each Paid Alumni Reservation, Photo Name Tags, DJ, Decor, Printing, Postage, Administration Expenses and Reunion Host. Cash Bar will be available. Reservations Made After November 21st will be $69.00 per person and $135.00 per couple. If you have a paid reservation with Reunion Makers please call CTR, Inc. at 734.261.3264. Lafayette Grand Banquets, 1 Lafayette, Pontiac, MI"

Waaaaiit a minute. Let's take a look at this.

Tickets $59. Alright. We're adults, we have jobs, we can afford to spring for our 10-year reunion. After all, it only comes once, right. Granted, I think I should be paid to sit around having the same shitty conversation with people I care so much about that I haven't seen them in ten years. And at least we'll have an open bar.

Nope. Look closer. Cash bar will be available. Available? If I'm not having my shitty conversations in an alcohol induced haze, it's likely my social anxiety and intolerance of idiots will kick in, making me one miserable sonovabitch. How on earth can you charge people $60 and not have an open bar? How is it even possible?

Here's how. Girls planned it. A recap of the 10 year reunion planning committee meeting:

GIRL 1: It's our ten year reunion, what should we do?
GIRL 2: I think we should rent a banquet hall. This has to be better than prom.
GIRL 3: Maybe we should just rent a bar. I think that would be a good atmosphere.
GIRL 1: A bar? Come on Susan, I bet people are going to want to dress up fancy.
GIRL 2: Yeah, we should probably get decorations, maybe have a theme of some sort.
GIRL 3: I don't think people will care about that.
GIRL 1: Won't care? Won't care? Listen, we're planning this. We're going to look dumb if we just have it at some bar with a bunch of beer and pizza. We need to go high class. People will judge us by how nice this is.
GIRL 2: It's our chance to show them we've made it. We seriously need to get some hors D'Oeuvres and stuff.
GIRL 1: And people are definitely going to want a DJ and a dance floor and centerpieces on the tables.
GIRL 2: And picture nametags and streamers and balloons.
GIRL 3: Can we at least have an open bar?
GIRL 1: We can't waste money on that.
GIRL 2: Seriously, how can we afford that and administration expenses and postage? No one cares about open bars.
GIRL 3: Fuck this. Fuck you. I'm not helping any more.

Aaarrrrrg. In my opinion, all you need for a good reunion is the following: a room, some beer, some pizza or chips, masking tape and a Sharpe (for nametags), and some chairs. That's it. I could organize a good reunion for $10 a head. And that would include pizza and all you can drink beer. But alas, I'm lazy and I don't live in Michigan, so I have to let it go.

I'm going to suck it up, pay for my ticket, wear normal clothes, bring a bottle of Makers and try not to complain about the reunion in front of the organizer.