WINNING WITH NUMBER TWO.

One thing I'm not fond of is public bathrooms. Going number one in a public bathroom is no sweat; it's going number two that's very uncomfortable. Aside from the dirt-factor associated with a bathroom shared with strangers, the main problem for me is having to go while someone else is in the bathroom. In my current work situation, the building shares one male bathroom. This bathroom contains one stall for shitting. So every day when nature calls, I find myself with the opportunity to claim two victories.

The first challenge is timing your trip so that the toilet is unoccupied when you arrive. There's nothing worse than walking in and seeing someone's feet under the stall. You have to go back into the office without accomplishing your goal and you have to know that some other guy was just dumping where you dump. But after many hours of observing actions around the office, I've gotten pretty good at timing my runs. Win.

The second win is achieved by finishing your business before anyone comes in. I can't have a movement while someone else is in the bathroom, so any time there's another human in there I'm basically stalled. During the workday I'm an efficient crapper. No lounging around and reading the Wall Street Journal that's sometimes wedged in the stall crack. Just get in, unload, get out.

Today I won twice. It's a great feeling, getting in there and seeing an empty stall, doing your business, washing up and getting out without having to hear, see or talk to anyone.

That is how you win at number two.