WEIRD AND BAD.

Yesterday during lunch I got a bloody nose. That is weird and bad. It's weird, because there is no reason for me to have gotten said bloody nose. I was sitting there, eating some shrimp and chili fries and all of a sudden blood started coming out of my nose.

It is bad for several reasons. One, I was at lunch with my boss and two co-workers. Right away they think I'm a cokehead. That's what I would think if I saw some kid's nose just randomly begin dripping blood. Two, it is bad because it ruined my lunch and theirs. No one wants to eat shrimp with a napkin jammed up their nose. And no one wants to watch me bleed all over. Three, I think seagulls could smell the blood. They were all around us.

I actually think that shitting myself would have been better. Then I could have said, "I thought it was going to be a fart." But in this case, I couldn't even think of an excuse, because I don't know what causes bloody noses aside from cocaine and punching. As if I didn't have enough social anxiety about eating with people, now I have to worry about blood suddenly pouring out of my face? Come on. That's just not fair.