JESUS ON WHEELS.

Last weekend, for a friend's birthday, we did something I haven't done since approximately fifth grade. Roller-skating. Yes, as fully-grown people we went to a club that once a week turns into a roller rink. The Roxy, an icon of New York nightlife, was right up there with Studio 54 during the heyday of disco. And they've continued on as a dance club six nights a week. But one night every week, one special night (generally Wednesdays), they shut down the dance floors and have a roller-skating party.

My initial feeling towards adult roller-skating was that it would be absurd. Every weekend they have a roller-skating dance party in Central Park. I've walked by it many times and often stop to watch this circus. Though captivating, the idea of a bunch of adults on roller-skates still seemed silly. The only thing I remember about roller-skating is that twenty years ago I loved it; but then I was also ten years old, sporting a mullet and wearing spandex shorts with a fluorescent green stripe down the side. Never trust a ten-year old's judgment.

Friday came, and not only had I agreed to go skating, but because it was asked of me, I agreed to wear a costume. So, dressed as Jesus and sure that I was going to need numerous glasses of whiskey to feel at ease, I went to the Roxy. When we got inside, we had a table right on the edge of the rink and the rest of our group was in costume, so I started to feel better. Then something surprising happened: I took a spin around the rink--and it was fun. The more the night went on, the better I got at roller-skating. And even though I was doing nothing more than going in circles, I found myself not wanting to sit down. During the whole night I only had about four beers, while I did about four hundred laps around the rink. Roller-skating Jesus was a popular figure and skating fast in such a crowded rink was good and dangerous.


Saying I had fun is not the same as saying I'm going to become a regular. First, the Roxy was closing for good the next day, so I won't ever be back there. And second, the skating culture is still a bit out of the realm of normalcy. You could tell there were regulars there. Guys who go every week and pick up girls by simply skating by and holding out their hands, like Superman offering to take Lois Lane for a quick flight around the rink. There were old women doing crazy old dances in the center of the rink. Gay guys in love. Skating breakdancers. Dangerous zoom around the rink at breakneck speeds guys. And there were also plenty of inexperienced, once every twenty years skaters.


Overall, I have to say it's the most fun I've had involving roller-skates in the last ten or fifteen years. I recommend getting a group of friends and heading to a skating rink near you.