BALL WIPES.

Awhile ago I was at the bar having a discussion with some friends about the difficulties involved with dating, being nervous and sweating. One of these difficulties was the unavoidable accumulation of sweat on, under and around your balls. There was a minority arguing that girls were, contrary to common sense, turned on by a musky man ball smell down there. But I wasn't buying it. Sweat from my ass makes it down into that area. It's not a nice smell, and I'd like to make it as pleaseant as possible for a girl who may find herself in the area, as I'd like to encourage repeat visits. So the idea of Ball Wipes was born.


This invention isn't really an invention at all, but merely a repurposing of the wet-wipes you get after eating hot wings. We could hang Ball Wipes dispensers in bar and restaurant bathrooms. Then when it looks like you might have a girl's head near your naked balls in the near future, you can duck into the bathroom, drop $.25 in the machine and give your boys a quick onceover. It's the polite thing to do. And for the ladies who like that musky ball smell, we'll have ball-scented Ball Wipes. No reason you can't be clean and smell dirty.

Also, in disturbingly related news, I used to work with a guy who said that he thought his taint sweat smelled like vagina. He would also chew Nicorette while taking a dump every day. Special guy, really.